{"id":903,"date":"2024-09-28T09:11:59","date_gmt":"2024-09-28T09:11:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/?p=903"},"modified":"2024-09-30T08:23:13","modified_gmt":"2024-09-30T08:23:13","slug":"conto-sem-ponto","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/?p=903","title":{"rendered":"Conto sem ponto"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t<div data-elementor-type=\"wp-post\" data-elementor-id=\"903\" class=\"elementor elementor-903\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-77a2097c e-con-full e-flex e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"77a2097c\" data-element_type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-1843b116 elementor-widget elementor-widget-image\" data-id=\"1843b116\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"image.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"2479\" height=\"1653\" src=\"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/image0-3.png\" class=\"attachment-full size-full wp-image-914\" alt=\"\" srcset=\"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/image0-3.png 2479w, https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/image0-3-300x200.png 300w, https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/image0-3-1024x683.png 1024w, https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/image0-3-768x512.png 768w, https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/image0-3-1536x1024.png 1536w, https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/wp-content\/uploads\/2024\/09\/image0-3-2048x1366.png 2048w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 2479px) 100vw, 2479px\" \/>\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-6418f7a3 e-flex e-con-boxed e-con e-parent\" data-id=\"6418f7a3\" data-element_type=\"container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t<div class=\"e-con-inner\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-75a83167 elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"75a83167\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>28\/09\/2024<\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-419e937b elementor-widget elementor-widget-heading\" data-id=\"419e937b\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-widget_type=\"heading.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t<h1 class=\"elementor-heading-title elementor-size-default\">Conto sem ponto<\/h1>\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-element elementor-element-56a44d4a elementor-widget__width-initial elementor-drop-cap-yes elementor-drop-cap-view-default elementor-widget elementor-widget-text-editor\" data-id=\"56a44d4a\" data-element_type=\"widget\" data-settings=\"{&quot;drop_cap&quot;:&quot;yes&quot;}\" data-widget_type=\"text-editor.default\">\n\t\t\t\t<div class=\"elementor-widget-container\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<p>F<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">ui a uma mesa tirar o pedido de duas senhoras e uma diz-me: <\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Eu quero um risotto de gambas sem queijo e sem manteiga, se faz favor.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Um arroz de gambas, portanto. \u2013 Presumi.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 N\u00e3o. Quero um risotto de gambas sem queijo e sem manteiga. \u2013 disse ela num tom menos amig\u00e1vel.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Minha senhora, um risotto de gambas sem queijo e sem manteiga \u00e9 um arroz de gambas. \u2013 expliquei-lhe, calmamente.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 N\u00e3o. J\u00e1 lhe disse. N\u00e3o quero arroz de gambas, quero um risotto de gambas sem queijo e sem manteiga.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Pe\u00e7o desculpa, minha senhora, mas n\u00e3o \u00e9 poss\u00edvel servir-lhe risotto de gambas sem queijo e sem manteiga que n\u00e3o seja arroz de gambas.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">A mulher fez-me cara de poucos amigos e partilhou, subtilmente, a indigna\u00e7\u00e3o com a sua amiga enquanto relia o menu. N\u00e3o tenho a certeza se a rela\u00e7\u00e3o entre elas era de amizade. Mas caso fosse, a tal senhora deve preferir o termo: rela\u00e7\u00e3o amorosa sem paix\u00e3o e sem sexo.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Um minuto depois a mulher tirou os olhos do menu e recome\u00e7ou:<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Pronto, ent\u00e3o quero uma pizza margherita, sem queijo e sem molho de tomate.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Eu ri-me, inocentemente. Ela n\u00e3o pareceu achar piada.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Quer p\u00e3o, \u00e9 isso? \u2013 perguntei ainda com dificuldade em conter o sorriso.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 N\u00e3o! Quero uma pizza margherita sem queijo e sem molho de tomate \u2013 gritou ela, impaciente.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Minha senhora, uma pizza margherita sem queijo e sem molho de tomate \u00e9 p\u00e3o. Da mesma maneira que uma \u00e1rvore sem ramos e sem ra\u00edzes \u00e9 um tronco, e uma vaca sem manchas e sem tetas \u00e9 a minha ex-namorada.<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Parece que as minhas compara\u00e7\u00f5es n\u00e3o ajudaram, de todo, a esclarecer a senhora, pois mal eu terminei a frase ela come\u00e7ou a protestar:<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013\u00a0\u00c9 inadmiss\u00edvel! Eu pe\u00e7o uma simples pizza e tenho de levar com explica\u00e7\u00f5es de um empregado de mesa arrogante e malcriado. Traga-me o livro de reclama\u00e7\u00f5es, imediatamente!<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013\u00a0Pe\u00e7o desculpa, minha senhora. N\u00e3o era a minha inten\u00e7\u00e3o deix\u00e1-la nesse estado, s\u00f3 estava a tentar ajudar.\u00a0<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013\u00a0N\u00e3o quero saber, traga-me o livro de reclama\u00e7\u00f5es!<\/span><\/p><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2013 Claro, minha senhora&#8230; Diga-me s\u00f3, o livro quer sem folhas e sem capa?<\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>28\/09\/2024 Conto sem ponto Fui a uma mesa tirar o pedido de duas senhoras e uma diz-me: \u2013 Eu quero um risotto de gambas sem queijo e sem manteiga, se faz favor. \u2013 Um arroz de gambas, portanto. \u2013 Presumi. \u2013 N\u00e3o. Quero um risotto de gambas sem queijo e sem manteiga. \u2013 disse ela [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":914,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-903","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/903","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=903"}],"version-history":[{"count":24,"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/903\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":929,"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/903\/revisions\/929"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/914"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=903"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=903"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/irrelevanciacronica.pt\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=903"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}